Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice! What do you call a sad grape? A blueberry. Why are grapes never lonely? Because they come in bunches! What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine. Why…
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It tocked too much! How does a clock do math? It goes back four seconds. What did the annoyed clock say to the enthusiastic one? “Would you stop all that ticking? You’re really winding me up!” Why don’t clocks ever get hungry? Because they go…
Why did the violin go to therapy? Because it had too many unresolved issues! What’s a violin’s favorite type of story? A bow-dunnit! Why was the violin always picked first in gym class? Because it always had the best bow arm! How do you know a violin is being played well? Even the mice are…
Why don’t volcanoes ever cheat at games? Because they know they’ll get caught red-handed! What do you call a volcano that’s good at math? A geome-trick! Why did the volcano apologize to the mountain? Because it lost its temper-a-ture! What’s a volcano’s favorite instrument? The lava-lin! Why are volcanoes so good at storytelling? Because they…
Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing! What do you call a sad lettuce? A “blue cheese” salad. Why did the lettuce win the race? Because it was a-head! How do you make a lettuce laugh? Tickle its ribs! Why don’t lettuces ever start fights? Because they’re too green….
Here are some hiking puns to lighten the trail: I hope these puns put a smile on your face! “Two hikers are walking through the woods when they spot a bear. One starts putting on running shoes. The other says, ‘You can’t outrun a bear!’ The first hiker replies, ‘I don’t have to outrun the…
Why don’t flamingos play basketball? Because they’re afraid of getting foul calls! What did one flamingo say to the other before a race? “Don’t forget to put your best foot forward!” Why did the flamingo stand on one leg? Because if it lifted the other, it would fall over! What do you call a group…
Why don’t polar bears like fast food? Because they can’t catch it! What do you call a polar bear with earplugs? Anything you want, he can’t hear you! How do polar bears make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow. What’s a polar bear’s favorite cereal? Ice Crispies. Why did the polar…
Why do ghosts love elevators? Because they lift their spirits! What did one elevator say to the other elevator? “I think I’m coming down with something!” Why don’t elevators ever get lost? Because they always know their ups and downs. What’s an elevator’s favorite type of music? Pop, because it always has the best hits…
Why don’t snails like fast food? Because they prefer to eat at a snail’s pace! What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? “Whee!” Why did the snail paint an S on his car? So when he drove past people, they would say, “Look at that S-car go!” What do you call…
