“America: where you can get shot while learning about freedom and democracy in school.” “In America, you can dream of becoming anything you want, as long as it’s not debt-free.” “America, where the healthcare is expensive but the thoughts and prayers are always free.” “Welcome to America, the land of the free and the home…
Space: where even the smallest star can outshine your ex. Pluto called; it wants its planetary status back. Mars: Because Earth needs a backup plan for all our messes. Black holes: The universe’s way of ghosting you. Gravity: The only thing that keeps pulling you back when life tries to launch you. Astronauts: Proof that…
Why don’t koalas count as bears?Because they don’t have the right koalifications. How do you know if a kangaroo has been in your fridge?The beer is gone and there’s a note saying, “Cheers, mate!” Why did the Aussie go to the seafood disco?He pulled a mussel! Why did the emu cross the road?To prove to…
“Winning big? Fuhgeddaboudit! The house always collects its ‘protection fee.’” “Our slot machines don’t pay out—unless you want a visit from the ‘accountant.’” “Roulette: where the wheel spins and so does your luck, right down the drain.” “Playing blackjack here? Better make sure your ‘family’ is on good terms with ours.” “At our casino, the…
Las Vegas: City of Lights, dazzling casinos, and…Flamingo Rd.? While the Strip boasts glitz and glamour, Flamingo Rd. offers a more, ahem, “flamboyant” kind of excitement. Why did the showgirl cross Flamingo Rd.? To get to the … slightly less glamorous side. What do you call a high roller on Flamingo Rd.? Mistaken. What’s the…
In the neon-lit heart of Las Vegas, amidst the clinking of slot machines and the shuffling of cards, a new set of high rollers has hit the strip. Not content with dominating interstellar travel, a group of extraterrestrial visitors decides to try their luck in the city of sin, bringing a whole new meaning to…
Remember, this is all coming from a place of love. Tennessee’s a wild state with a heart of gold, and if you can’t laugh at yourself, well then, bless your heart. Deep-Fried Fun That is Tennessee! I went hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains, but I couldn’t find any bears. I guess they were all…
Lighthouses Rule! Why do lighthouses never go to school? Because they’re always bright. What do you call a lighthouse that likes to tell jokes? A light-hearted house. Why was the lighthouse bad at hide and seek? It was always spotted. How do lighthouses keep their floors clean? They use a beacon mop. What did the…
Why do mountains always seem so friendly? Because they peak at you! What did one mountain say to the other mountain? “Stop peaking at me!” Why are mountains so good at telling stories? Because they have cliff-hangers. What do you call an amazing day on a mountain? A peak experience. Why don’t mountains get cold…
