Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It tocked too much!
How does a clock do math? It goes back four seconds.
What did the annoyed clock say to the enthusiastic one? “Would you stop all that ticking? You’re really winding me up!”
Why don’t clocks ever get hungry? Because they go back four seconds.
What do you call a story about a clock? Second-hand information.
Why was the clock always calm? It knew how to unwind.
How do you know when a clock is really old? It starts to lose its hours.
What’s a clock’s favorite Spice Girls song? “Time’s Up.”
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? For tocking too much in class.
What did one clock say to the other? “You tick me off!”
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It felt like their time was up.
Why was the clock always behind? It just couldn’t keep up with the times.
What’s a clock’s least favorite type of music? Rock around the clock!
Why did the alarm clock blush? It saw the time fly by!
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
Why did the sundial get a promotion? It was about time.
How can you tell if a clock is wise? It knows all the time.
Why was the clock so happy? Because it was ahead of its time.
What’s a clock’s favorite game? Catch me if you can.
Why did everyone trust the clock? Because it knew how to conduct itself over time.
Sound The Alarm With Clock Slogans
“Ask me for the time. I dare you.”
“Time’s up! Just kidding, I have all the time in the world.”
“Who needs friends when you have clocks?”
“Yes, I’m obsessed with clocks. Time to accept it.”
“Clock collector: because having just one time zone is too mainstream.”
“I’m not late. My clock is just early for tomorrow.”
“Time flies when you’re having none of it.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not already late.”
“Running late is my cardio.”
“I’ve got more clocks than time on my hands.”
“Time waits for no one, but it pauses for me.”
“This isn’t an obsession, it’s a time investment.”
“Clocks are like people — better when they’re not wound up.”
“In sync with the times? No, the times sync with me.”
“Time is gold, and I’m hoarding it.”
“My other shirt is a clock.”
“Time’s a-wasting, but I’m not racing.”
“I make every second count, but who’s counting?”
“Clocks: because digital is too easy.”
“Life’s too short to watch the clock. That’s why I collect them.”
