Why did the violin go to therapy? Because it had too many unresolved issues!
What’s a violin’s favorite type of story? A bow-dunnit!
Why was the violin always picked first in gym class? Because it always had the best bow arm!
How do you know a violin is being played well? Even the mice are in tune!
What do you call a cow that plays the violin? Moozart!
Why did the violin break up with the viola? It found the viola too string-ent!
What’s a violin’s least favorite kitchen appliance? The chopping board!
Why did the violin go to jail? For fiddling the books!
How does a violin say goodbye? “I’ll be bach!”
What did the violin say to the violinist? “You string me along, but I like it!”
Why couldn’t the violin find its way home? Because it lost its G.P.S. (G-string Positioning System)!
Why do violins never win races? They always come to a dead stop at the fermata!
What do you call a laughing violin? A giggle-fiddle!
Why are violins like senior citizens? They both enjoy a good chin rest!
What’s a violin’s favorite type of cheese? String cheese, of course!
Why was the violin so good at math? Because it had plenty of practice with counting rests!
What do you call an honest violin? A fiddle that doesn’t lie!
Why do violins make terrible criminals? They can never keep a low profile; they’re always noted!
Why was the violin teacher arrested? For fingering A minor!
What’s a violin’s favorite exercise? The bow flex!
Slogans for Violin Lovers
“Plays well with others…but prefers solos.”
“I’m fiddling while Rome burns. Any requests?”
“Bach off! I’ve got a violin and I’m not afraid to use it.”
“Violin: Because anger management is too expensive.”
“Keep calm and play on. Or just freak out and throw your bow, whatever.”
“I found this violin pitch perfect. You, however, might not.”
“Warning: I carry a violin and I’m not afraid to fiddle with it.”
“Violinists do it with vibrato.”
“World’s okayest violinist.”
“Yes, I’m stringing you along. Welcome to the orchestra.”
“This T-shirt was expensive. Just like my violin’s maintenance.”
“Don’t fret, I’m a violinist! Wait, we don’t use frets.”
“I’ve got 99 problems but a pitch ain’t one.”
“I practice because I’m unaccompanied. So are you, if I keep practicing.”
“More bowing, less whining.”
“Violin: Turning strings into things since way back.”
“I speak fluent sarcasm and violin. Often simultaneously.”
“I make the violin sound great. It’s not bragging if it’s true.”
“Bow down before the violin master. Or at least pretend to.”
“Violinist: Because badass miracle worker isn’t an official job title.”