In the neon-lit heart of Las Vegas, amidst the clinking of slot machines and the shuffling of cards, a new set of high rollers has hit the strip. Not content with dominating interstellar travel, a group of extraterrestrial visitors decides to try their luck in the city of sin, bringing a whole new meaning to…
Running Through Super Mario World For me, it all started with Super Mario World on Super Nintendo. I began playing this game as a little kid, and if I played it today, I would be just as good. I literally run through that game lol non-stop. I hold down the Y button the whole time….
“Meth: Preferred by 6 out of 10 drug addicts.” “Speed: Because Who Needs a Savings Account When You Can Have a Record…Criminal Record.” – For those who thought investment portfolios were too mainstream. “Say Yes to smoking dope, and You’re Also Saying Yes to More Intimate Encounters…With Courtrooms.” – Get ready to become very familiar…
“Cheers to Mom! The original ride-sharing, bank-lending, life-coaching service.” “Remember, it’s Mother’s Day. Not ‘Ask Mom to do more stuff’ day.” “Happy Mother’s Day! Thanks for the genes and for teaching me how to properly wash jeans.” “To the woman who really does have eyes in the back of her head. Happy Mother’s Day!” “To…
E. Bunny, once a symbol of springtime cheer, now sat slumped at the bar, nursing a lukewarm carrot mimosa. His once fluffy white fur was matted and dull, his pink nose tinged red from budget gin. The Easter hustle, once a lucrative gig, had become a brutal less than minimum wage affair. “Another round, mate?”…
Meet the Mobsters: The Faces Behind Easter’s Biggest Operation Vinny “The Claw” Veloci Role: The Smooth OperatorVinny is known for his sharp style and even sharper business tactics. As the ringleader of the Egg-llicit Operations, he’s got a hand in every Easter egg basket in town. This velociraptor with a penchant for pastel suits is…
“Have a purr-fect Easter!” “Egg-cited to hunt for those catnip eggs!” “You’ve got to be kitten me, more chocolate eggs?” “Hoppy Easter from your favorite fur-ball!” “This Easter, I’m dyeing… my fur with safe, washable color, of course!” “I’m not a bunny, I’m a whisker warrior on a hunt for treats!” “Easter: A tail of…
I tried to open a milk carton with telekinesis, but I just ended up feeling a little powerless. I used to be lactose intolerant, but then I followed the cheese and everything changed. (Bonus points if you say this one while holding your nose!) My friend asked me if I wanted to go on an…
My wallet feels so de-flated, I might need to take a loan just to afford air. I tried to inflate my tires, but the price of air just took the wind out of my sails. My budget is so strained, it’s starting to resemble a loaf of bread at these prices. I’m living on ramen noodles again, seems like the only…
