Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a sad lettuce? A “blue cheese” salad.
Why did the lettuce win the race? Because it was a-head!
How do you make a lettuce laugh? Tickle its ribs!
Why don’t lettuces ever start fights? Because they’re too green.
What did the lettuce say to the celery? “Lettuce romaine calm!”
Why was the lettuce embarrassed at the party? It saw the salad dressing.
What’s a lettuce’s favorite type of music? Romaine and blues.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and the lettuce blush!
How do lettuces pray? They lettuce pray.
Why did the lettuce apologize to the cucumber? It said something un-peeling.
What do you call an old lettuce? A “seniorita” (Cilantro’s friend).
Why was the lettuce a good detective? It always got to the root of the problem.
What do lettuces say before they go on a roller coaster? “Lettuce leaf our fears behind!”
Why did the lettuce stop working on its assignment? It couldn’t concentrate on its “celery” work.
Why don’t lettuces ever get lonely? Because they come in heads!
What do you call a lettuce with a degree? A “doc-leaf”.
Why did the lettuce start a blog? To share its “inner peas”.
What’s a lettuce’s favorite part of the computer? The “crisp” display.
How do you organize a space party? You planet with lettuce: it’s out of this world!
Slogans For Lettuce Lovers
“Lettuce: Because adulting means choosing your own greens.”
“Kale’s evil cousin.”
“I’m just here for the lettuce wrap party.”
“Too cool for salad school.”
“Lettuce: The only plant I haven’t killed… yet.”
“Eat lettuce today, pretend you’re healthy tomorrow.”
“I’m into fitness…fit’ness whole salad in my mouth.”
“Leaf me alone; I’m on a diet.”
“Keep calm and carrot on… Just kidding, bring on the lettuce!”
“Lettuce: Because pretending to like kale is too much work.”
“50 shades of green.”
“I believe in a balanced diet: a lettuce leaf on each burger.”
“Salad enthusiast and proud.”
“Lettuce: Not just for rabbits anymore.”
“I speak fluent sarcasm and salad dressing.”
“In a complicated relationship with my salad.”
“Say no to drugs, say yes to lettuce.”
“Who needs abs when you’ve got kebabs… and lettuce?”
“Survived another day without eating lettuce – said no one ever.”
“Lettuce: because you can’t make friends with salad… or can you?”
