Why did the McDonald’s employee stare at the orange juice? Because it said, “Concentrate.”
Their breakfast is served all day, because apparently healthy people don’t eat there.Feeling fancy? Order a McCafe beverage – it practically comes with a McPretentious price tag.
At McDonald’s, even the lettuce is taking a leaf of absence.
McDonald’s: where the ice cream machine is more elusive than a unicorn.
Their fries are like relationships—great at first, but eventually cold and disappointing.
The only thing fresher than McDonald’s salads is their Twitter comebacks.
Ordered a Happy Meal, but I’m still waiting on the happy part.
Need a McNapkin for your tears after realizing your McSalad is mostly iceberg lettuce?
McDonald’s chicken nuggets: because mystery meat is always an adventure.
Their Big Macs are like my ex—always promising more than they deliver.
Their drive-thru is so slow, you might as well just walk in and McWalk out.Need a quick pick-me-up? Grab a McCoffee and prepare for a McJitters later.McRib is back? More like a McMaybe, depending on the location.
McDonald’s coffee: the perfect blend of burnt hopes and dreams.
The McRib comes and goes like my willpower on a diet.
The McDonald’s drive-thru: where “fast food” is an oxymoron.
Trying to impress your date with your culinary knowledge? Just say “I know the secret McMenu!” (They won’t know it doesn’t exist).
Eating McDonald’s before a workout? Talk about McRegrets.
McDonald’s breakfast: because starting the day with disappointment is key.
The McFlurry machine is on a more permanent vacation than I am.
Looking for a romantic date night? McDonalds: Because nothing says “lovey dovey” like mystery meat.
McDonald’s salads: because sometimes you want to feel healthy while you’re not.
Their Wi-Fi is faster than their service. Priorities, right?
Getting a table at McDonald’s feels more prestigious than a Michelin star.
They say McDonald’s is a guilty pleasure—emphasis on the guilty.
The only thing more consistent than their fries is the regret after eating them.
McDonald’s: where the only thing quicker than the food is the post-meal nap.
Their fries might be salty, but their prices are starting to get McSalty.
Thinking of skipping the gym? Don’t worry, a McDouble practically comes with a free squat.Is it just me, or is the ice cream machine perpetually McBroken?
So good, you’ll be saying “I’m lovin’ it” even at your next doctor’s appointment.
Looking for a guaranteed McMess? Try a McFlurry after a long drive.
McDonalds: Where you can celebrate your kid’s birthday and clog their arteries at the same time!
Feeling indecisive? Don’t worry, the McChicken or McFish will both leave you equally unsatisfied.
Trying to eat healthy at McDonalds? That’s like trying to find a happy ending at a clown college.
Their burgers are like their employees – young, fresh, and here for a McMinute.
Their food might not be gourmet, but hey, at least it’s consistently McMediocre.
Don’t worry, that heartburn after your meal is just a McThank You from your digestive system.
McDonalds: Because sometimes, you just gotta treat yourself (to questionable dietary choices).
Slogans for McDonalds Haters
“McRegret Served Daily”
“McDonald’s: Lovin’ the Lies”
“Welcome to McDisappointment”
“McLies in Every Bite”
“Fry Away Your Dreams”
“Big Macs, Bigger Regrets”
“Taste the McTragedy”
“I Survived the McDonald’s Drive-Thru”
“McDonald’s: Where the Ice Cream Machine is a Myth”
“Nuggets of Regret”
“Fast Food, Faster Regret”
“Happiness Not Included”
“Just Here for the Regrets”
“From McLove to McLoathe”
“Serving Up Disappointment Since 1955”
“Grimace: My Spirit Animal”
“McDonald’s: Where Salads Go to Die”
“Over a Billion Disappointments Served”
“Big Mac Attack… on My Stomach”
“I Came, I Ate, I Regretted”
