“So, I decided to organize my herbs after smoking some weed. You could say I was… sorting out my life priorities. One puff at a time!”
“I made a weed-infused cake last week. I called it my ‘bake-it-easy’ project. The only problem? I forgot where I put it. Guess it’s true what they say: a mind is a terrible thing to waste, but a waist is a terrible thing to mind!”
“I tried yoga while high for the first time. I reached a new level of flexibility… I could almost touch my unrealistic expectations.”
“I told my friend I quit smoking weed, and she asked how I was coping. I said, ‘By knitting!’ She seemed impressed until I showed her my new scarf. It was just a long string of yarn. I guess I forgot to ‘purl’ between puffs.”
“I thought about making a to-do list after smoking some weed. Then I realized, ‘Aren’t all lists just suggestions anyway?’ So, I wrote down ‘breathe’ and ‘stay fabulous.’ Nailed it!”
“So, I started doing yoga while high. It’s the only time I can actually touch my toes… or at least feel like I’m touching them. Who knew ‘baked’ yoga could make me feel so… flexible?”
“I decided to bake cookies after smoking some weed. Halfway through, I realized I was baking without any ingredients. I guess you could say, I was too baked to bake!”
“I tried to have a deep conversation with my cat after smoking a joint. Turns out, he’s quite the philosopher… or maybe that was just the weed talking.”
“Ever notice how pot is like glitter? You find it everywhere long after you think it’s gone. I found a nug in my purse the other day; it was like Christmas came early… or late, depending on how you look at it.”
“I told my friend I stopped smoking weed, and she looked at me all shocked. Then I said, ‘April Fools’ in February. Guess I lost track of time… again.”
“I decided to clean my house after smoking some. It was the most creative cleaning session ever. Found my TV remote in the fridge. Not sure what past-me was thinking, but at least it was chill.”
“They say marijuana affects your memory, but I disagree. I… um, what was I saying again?”
Weed Jokes For Chillin With Your Girls
“So, I told my girls, ‘Let’s not get too high tonight.’ We ended up on the roof. Guess we took it a bit too literally!”
“Why do we always bake brownies when we get high? Because we like our snacks the way we like our evenings: baked and delightful!”
“Did you hear about the stoner chick who forgot how to roll? She said she was too blunt to remember. Guess we’re sticking to edibles tonight, ladies!”
“I bought a new strain called ‘Memory Loss.’ Not sure how good it is… I can’t remember last night, but I found selfies with our snacks, so it must’ve been epic!”
“Why do we always have our girl talks in a cloud of smoke? Because some conversations are just better on cloud nine!”
“What’s the one thing you don’t want to hear during our girls’ night in? ‘Oops, we’re out of weed.’ That’s the real horror story!”
“Why do we get along so well? Because we’re all in high spirits, literally. Pass the joint, please!”
