How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Why don’t we ever see water get into a fight? Because it keeps it’s feelings all bottled up.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Why is water the most educated drink? Because it’s been around the longest.
Why does everyone like rivers? Because they go with the flow.
What do you call it when a river takes a short nap? A stream dream.
Why did the lake go to the party? Because it heard it was a pool party.
What’s water’s favorite song? “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”
Why don’t secrets last in a river? Because they’re bound to leak out.
Why did the tap fail at school? Because it couldn’t handle the pressure.
What do you call water that’s really funny? Hilarious.
Why did the water never laugh at jokes? Because it wasn’t a fan of dry humor.
How does the ocean say goodbye? It waves.
What’s a snowman’s favorite drink? Ice water.
What did one water molecule say to the other? “We make such a good bond.”
Why did the water never get lost? Because it always found its stream.
What do you call a group of singing water droplets? A shower chorus.
Why did the water stop flowing? It needed a break.
What’s water’s life philosophy? Keep flowing, no matter what.
Why did the water whisper? Because it had to be streamly quiet.
Why don’t waters like to work out? They hate getting too pumped.
What do you call an educated drop of water? A graduated cylinder.
Why are water jokes so refreshing? Because they’re never stale.
Why did the brook babble? It wanted to be streamly funny.
What happens when water gets angry? It boils.
Why did the raindrop go to school? To become a little brighter.
What’s water’s favorite movie? “The Fountain.”
Why did the puddle enjoy gossip? Because it was shallow.
Why is it easy to get along with water? Because it’s very adaptable.
Jokes About Waters Dating Life
Why did vodka break up with water? Because it needed a relationship with more spirit, but water was too diluted to handle the drama. “I need someone stronger,” vodka said, “someone who won’t just blend in with the crowd.”
Why does water never get invited to wine tastings? Because every time it shows up, it dilutes the atmosphere. “I’m just trying to blend in,” water said, but the wines replied, “Sorry, we’re looking for more depth and complexity here.”
At the bar, water sees whiskey across the room and thinks, “Now there’s someone with some depth.” Water slides over and says, “Want to mix things up?” Whiskey looks water up and down and replies, “Sure, but only if your friend ice joins too.”
Why did water stop dating coffee? Because every morning was too bitter, and water found out coffee was always steamy with someone else. “I need someone cooler,” water said, “someone who doesn’t boil over so easily.”
Water and ice were at a party when ice decides to break the tension. “Let’s get something straight,” ice says, “I’m what makes you cool. Without me, you’re just room temperature.” Water replies, “Chill out, I can be cool on my own, but together, we’re absolutely refreshing.”
