True Story: My first job was at KFC. I hated that job. I felt like a joke. I once watched the manager drop 90 pieces of chicken on that filthy floor, drop it back into the fryer for 1 min and then served it to customers. I finally had enough when I was leaving one night after working all day, I walk past a black man who said to me “girl, you smell just like what a black man loves…” and because I had no idea what he was talking about, he just had to say “chicken.” lol That was it, I quit.
What came first, the Chicken or the bucket? pic.twitter.com/7OKG0W2E8V
— Chet Bliss (@chetbff) June 5, 2024
Chicken puns:
- Where every chicken dreams of being famous – finger-lickin’ good, even if you don’t have fingers!
- Finger-lickin’ good, where the chicken crosses the road to get to the fryer.
- The original poultry in motion.
- Making feathers ruffle with every bite.
- The Colonel’s secret recipe is like the Holy Grail, but with more herbs and spices.
- Where wings come before flying.
- Clucking good food for the soul.
- The Colonel’s crispy kingdom.
- The only place where you can have a drumstick without a drum kit.
Colonel Sanders:
- What did the Colonel Sanders statue say to the other statue? “Hey, you lookin’ a little grainy today!”
- A man applies for a job at KFC. The manager asks, “What experience do you have?” The man says, “Well, I used to be a history teacher and I’m really good at lecturing people.” The manager says, “That’s great! But can you pressure fry?”
KFC Service:
- Why don’t they have toilet paper at KFC? Because it’s finger lickin’ good! (This one’s a bit cheesy, but a classic)
- A man walks into a KFC and orders a meal. He sits down to eat and notices there’s no gravy. He calls over to the cashier, “Hey! I didn’t get any gravy with my meal!” The cashier replies, “Sir, this is KFC, not Popeyes.”
Lighthearted KFC Jokes
Why don’t KFC employees play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you smell like 11 herbs and spices!
How does KFC prepare for a busy day? They wing it!
I told my friend I got a job at KFC. He asked, “Are you the Colonel?” I said, “No, just a nugget in the food chain.”
Why was the KFC meal always confident? It was full of self-peas.
If Colonel Sanders started practicing magic, he’d be the Chicken Whisperer.
KFC: Because every day is a fry-day.
I’m not saying I love KFC, but I do speak fluent chicken.
At KFC, even the vegetables are chicken-flavored.
KFC’s secret recipe? 11 herbs and spies.
I asked for a book at KFC, they gave me a ‘chicken lit’
We’ve brought the Colonel out of cryogenic freeze to run for President this cycle.
— Chet Bliss (@chetbff) June 4, 2024
Please get out and Vote for Big Chicken!! pic.twitter.com/eFrQ41Qd53
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… of a KFC bucket!
What do you call a KFC manager who always forgets the gravy? Clucksless!
What do you call a vegan at KFC? A colonelscape artist.
I went to KFC the other day and asked for extra crispy. They just showed me a mirror.
Get that birdie pic.twitter.com/acembalkHN
— Chet Bliss (@chetbff) June 5, 2024
My friend says he loves the mashed potatoes at KFC. I said, “Are you sure they’re potatoes?” He said, “I dunno, but they sure taste like Kentucky!”
KFC stands for “Knowing Forever Chicken.” Because once you taste it, you can never have anything else again. (Just kidding, maybe )
I bought a bucket of KFC and a lifetime supply of biscuits. It was a wing-wing situation.
I tried to explain KFC to my French friend. I said, “It’s like a poultrygeist.” He wasn’t amused.
I lost my KFC receipt. It’s finger lickin’ good, but not deductible.
I tried the new ‘spicy’ chicken challenge at KFC, and now I’m breathing fire. I think I saw a dragon fly out of my nose!
My friend always orders extra gravy with his KFC, and then complains that his mashed potatoes are too wet. I don’t get it.
I accidentally spilled my entire KFC bucket on my lap. It was definitely a finger lickin’ good mess.
Slogans For KFC Fans
“Finger-lickin’ good at making bad decisions.”
“Why have abs when you can have KFC?”
“In a committed relationship with fried chicken.”
“I speak fluent KFC.”
“KFC: Keeping Fit? Cancelled.”
“Bucket list: 1. Get a KFC bucket. 2. That’s it.”
“Vegans, look away now.”
“Workout? I thought you said ‘take out’.”
“My food pyramid is a bucket.”
“Will run for chicken… to KFC.”
“I’ve got 99 problems but KFC ain’t one.”
“I follow a strict diet: The KFC diet.”
“Life’s too short for counting calories. Pass the gravy.”
“KFC > BFFs.”
“Colonel Sanders is my spirit animal.”
“I like my puns intended and my chicken deep-fried.”
“Find someone who looks at you the way I look at KFC.”
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
“Breaking up is hard to do. Not with salad, though.”
“Who needs six-pack abs when you have six pieces of chicken?”
Why eat chicken in the toilet? pic.twitter.com/EBnBhqnuvw
— Chet Bliss (@chetbff) May 2, 2024
