Funny Fish Jokes and Puns

You’ve got to be squidding me right now.

Well, this is a fine kettle of…sea creatures.

I’m feeling a bit under the gill today.

You think you’re a big kahuna, huh?

Let’s not open that can of worms.

I’m just here to make a splash.

Oh, for the hake of it!

That’s a load of carp if I’ve ever heard one.

I’m just swimming in a sea of paperwork.

You’ve really got me hooked, haven’t you?

I’m just here floundering around.

Oh, whale, what can you do?

Don’t be such a wet blanket.

Looks like you’re swimming against the current.

I’m not one to trout my own horn, but…

You’re just spouting a bunch of blubber.

Clam up, will ya?

You’re not the only one who can play at that game, you know.

Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.

You think you’re the sole survivor of this conversation?

Silly Fishy Jokes

Why don’t fish do well on school tests? Because they work below C-level.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

What do you call a fish that knows addition? An octo-plus.

How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.

Why did the fish get kicked out of school? Because it was caught with seaweed.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!

What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A king salmon.

Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.

What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin sea.

Why don’t fish like basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.

What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut.

Punny Fishy Puns Lol

Don’t trout yourself. You’re fin-tastic!

I’m feeling a bit koi today.

You’ve got me hooked, line and sinker.

This situation seems fishy. Let’s mullet over.

You’re the sole reason for my happiness.

I’m not squidding you, you’re the best!

Let minnow if you want to go to the lake.

Cod you believe how beautiful the sea is?

I’m herring that you’re quite the catch!

Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself.

That joke was a bit of a flop. I guess I should scale back.

You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with fish puns.

I’m eel-ated to be here with you.

Let’s not flounder around the topic.

You’re krilling it today!

These Ought to Get You Hooked!

You seem like a fintastic person! I bet you always make a splash at parties.

I’m feeling a little under the weather. Maybe I just need a vitamin sea?

This situation seems a little fishy. I should probably cast a wider net for information.

Ugh, I have so much to do today. Looks like I’ll be cramming all night! (like cramming for a test)

Did you hear about the celebrity fish? They’re always so-fish-ticated!

I’m a big fan of seafood. I see food and I eat it.

Never trust a fish out of water; it’s a bit fishy.

I started a band called The Herring. We play mostly fish tunes.

Why don’t fish like basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.

I asked a fish how it sleeps. It said, “With my eyes closed, cod you not?”

Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

What do you call a fish with a tie? Sofishticated.

Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!

I told my fish I was going to change its water. It said, “No tank you.”