Why did the avocado stop arguing with its partner? Because it realized it was in a guac-ward situation. What did the avocado say to the tortilla chip? “You complete me.” How do you make an avocado shake? You put it in the freezer until it shivers. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw…
Snake in the Grass: Why is a narcissist like a snake in the grass? Because you never see them coming until they’re hissing complaints and self-praise right in your ear. Slithering Conversations: Why did the snake stop listening? Because it thought “hiss” own stories were more interesting. The Mirror: Why did the snake buy a…
“So, I decided to organize my herbs after smoking some weed. You could say I was… sorting out my life priorities. One puff at a time!” “I made a weed-infused cake last week. I called it my ‘bake-it-easy’ project. The only problem? I forgot where I put it. Guess it’s true what they say: a…
Welcome to the carnival of chaos, where the main attraction is living with a narcissist! Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and behold the spectacle of emotional rollercoasters, mind-bending manipulation, and the never-ending quest for admiration! So there you have it, folks! Step right up and experience the thrill of a lifetime as you navigate…
Why don’t monkeys use pocket watches? Because they believe in “ape-solute” timing! What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips? A chipmunk! Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal! What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom! Why did the monkey get lost in the jungle?…
Why don’t turtles like to chat? Because they prefer to shell-ter their thoughts! What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine? A slowpoke! What kind of photos do turtles take? Shellfies! Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station! What do you call a turtle who’s…
What do you call an owl dressed in armor? Knight Owl. Why did the owl join Tinder? He didn’t want to be owl by himself. What’s an owl’s favorite type of math? Owlgebra. Why do owls always get invited to bird parties? Because they’re a hoot! What do you call an owl that does magic…
You’ve got to be squidding me right now. Well, this is a fine kettle of…sea creatures. I’m feeling a bit under the gill today. You think you’re a big kahuna, huh? Let’s not open that can of worms. I’m just here to make a splash. Oh, for the hake of it! That’s a load of…
Sure, I’ve got a joke for you! Why is it pointless for orphans play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re never truly wanted! ??? Why was the orphan and the blind kid best friends? Because neither can see their parents. Why did the orphan hate puzzles? Because they suck at finding pieces…
Your mom is so behind on VR, she put on 3D glasses to play Candy Crush. Yo mama’s so old, she sends snapchats with hieroglyphics. Your mom’s so obsessed with Instagram, she thinks real life has filters. Yo mama’s so clueless about tech, she tried to swipe left on a microwave. Yo mama’s so obsessed…
