My brother and I are like a super-efficient team. I mess up, and he takes all the credit for fixing it.
They say brothers are like best friends. Mine must be an undercover agent then, because he’s always spying on my stuff.
My brother is like a computer. He goes to sleep if you ignore him for too long, and sometimes, I wish he had a mute button.
Growing up with my brother was like being in a comedy show. Except I was the audience, and he was the bad joke.
Having a brother is like having a permanent backup plan for blaming things on someone else.
My brother’s favorite hobby? Annoying me. He’s practically a professional.
My brother’s so lazy, if there were an Olympic event for doing nothing, he’d come in fourth, just so he wouldn’t have to stand on the podium.
They say sharing is caring. My brother must really care about me because he shares all his annoying habits.
My brother thinks he’s a genius. I guess it takes one to know one, which explains why I didn’t notice.
Sibling rivalry: When you and your brother argue over who gets to use the last brain cell.
More Jokes About Your Brother
Sharing is caring? Sure, if you consider sharing your room with a human-shaped garbage disposal caring.
Science experiment gone wrong? I always wondered what would happen if you mixed a walking encyclopedia with a toddler with questionable hygiene. Now I know – it’s my brother.
Superhero origin story? They say everyone has a superpower. My brother’s is the uncanny ability to find the exact moment to completely obliterate any sense of peace and quiet in the house.
College applications? When my brother listed “annoying sibling” as a relevant skill on his college application, I knew he was going places. Probably therapy.
Family bragging rights? Mom and Dad always say they have two perfect children. They must be counting the dog.
Emergency broadcast system? There’s no need for an emergency broadcast system in our house. My brother’s constant screaming fulfills that function perfectly.
Fashion icon? Sure, I may raid his closet sometimes, but that’s only because it’s the only place in the house with decent clothes.
Future Nobel Prize winner? The only thing my brother wins consistently is arguments about who gets the remote. Even then, it’s usually through sheer volume, not logic.
Lost and found department? If you ever lose something in this house, just ask my brother. He’s probably borrowed it.
Living petri dish? Scientists should study my brother. He’s like a walking experiment in how much junk food a human can consume and still survive.
