Being a girl with a big booty means never having to worry about falling – there’s always a built-in cushion! As a girl with a big booty, I don’t do sit-ups, I do sit-downs – because I make any chair look good! Having a big booty means I never lose at musical chairs. When I…
Meet the Mobsters: The Faces Behind Easter’s Biggest Operation Vinny “The Claw” Veloci Role: The Smooth OperatorVinny is known for his sharp style and even sharper business tactics. As the ringleader of the Egg-llicit Operations, he’s got a hand in every Easter egg basket in town. This velociraptor with a penchant for pastel suits is…
“Have a purr-fect Easter!” “Egg-cited to hunt for those catnip eggs!” “You’ve got to be kitten me, more chocolate eggs?” “Hoppy Easter from your favorite fur-ball!” “This Easter, I’m dyeing… my fur with safe, washable color, of course!” “I’m not a bunny, I’m a whisker warrior on a hunt for treats!” “Easter: A tail of…
“Missing you is like missing my phone charger – everything feels pointless and a little bit dark.” “I’m starting to think you secretly enjoy the power trip of making me miss you this much.” “It’s not that I miss you, it’s just that I’ve grown strangely fond of having someone to blame for all my…
When she’s mad and stomping around, you know she’s really “flaring up.” If she’s angry after dinner, does that mean she’s having a “meltdown” for dessert? When she loses a game, is it called “throwing a pouty”? An angry little girl doesn’t need a microphone, she is the microphone!” Going to bed without a bed…
These pancakes are batter than ever! Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped out! What do you call a pancake after it does sit-ups? A waffle! What do you call a pancake that always wins races? A pan-cakewalk! What do you call a pancake that loves to party? A flapjacker! How do elves prefer their pancakes? In…
You make my heart go “Aaarrrggggh!” for more. Happy Valentine’s Day! You’re the treasure I’ve been searchin’ for all me life. Be mine? My love for you is shore-less. Anchors aweigh! You’re the parrot to my pirate ship, always by me side. Avast, ye matey! I’m hooked on you, like a mermaid on a shiny doubloon. Be my Valentine? You’re the rum to…
I’m toad-ally in love with you! You make me feel amphi-bious with joy. I’m in love with you, no ifs, ands, or butts… or hops! You’re the fly to my frog. You’re the frog prince I’ve been dreaming of! You’re one in a hoppy million. I’m so glad we croaked paths. Hoppy Valentine’s Day, my…
I’m hole-y in love with donuts. What do you call a donut that knows magic? A hocus-pocus! What do you call a donut that won’t share? A selfish-made treat! Happiness is a warm donut. What do you call a donut detective? A glazehound! Donut kill my vibe! What do you call a donut that’s late? A tardy torte! I’m…
What do you call a dinosaur who’s lost its vocabulary? A thesaurus Rex! (Get it? Thesaurus… lost words… it’s a stretch, I know). How does a T-Rex tie its shoes? With dino-saur knots! (Because those tiny arms…) Why did the Triceratops cross the road? To prove he wasn’t just chicken! (Don’t tell him about the T-Rex). What do you call a lazy Stegosaurus? A couch potato-saurus! (Because, well, those…
